my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
