what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize