YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
