So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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