I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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