Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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