I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize