I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
