Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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