Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
