I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
