i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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