I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
