Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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