I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
