Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
