I think I just saw someone hide a body.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
