Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I will pee on everything he values.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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