dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
