The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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