Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
