i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
