Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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