Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
