Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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