I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
