Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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