You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
