Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
