Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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