The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I am available for nakedness
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
