I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
