Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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