I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
