Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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