Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
