why didn't you poke me back
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize