well you can't waste a boner
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I didn't notice because vodka
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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