His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
