We're like a lot better than the average bears
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
