He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
