super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
