he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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