man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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