What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you would pick up someone in the library
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
