Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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