ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
