hell yes lets make some ravioli
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I supernannyed him into submission
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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