I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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