I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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