Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize