You work out of a Hotel?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
