thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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