What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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