Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
