i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
