When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
