You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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