Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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