The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
