Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I wear drunk well.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
