Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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