If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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