1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
