She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
