you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
