you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
