Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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