I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
