Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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