Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
