..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
