He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize