it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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